Narrative Photo

JoLee Eastman
April 20, 2010

She sits in the corner, with her arms across her chest and her head towards the ground. Her eyes are filled with tears and her head with his name. She hears his voice and slowly her head begins to rise, and when her smile starts to appear, it only fades once more. He isn’t alone. His hand intertwined with hers, and the smile upon his face, brings on tears once again. It’s been three years but she hasn’t forgotten. She sees how happy he is without her, which makes her break down even more. Each day passes and with the challenge of him, happy with her, lingering in her thoughts. She continues to smile and tell herself she will be fine.
Her mind is filled with thoughts of him, it’s like nothing could be better! He makes her feel alive. Today she looked for him at lunch, and in the halls in between classes, even after school. She doesn’t care if she can’t talk to him, she still likes seeing him. He is the guy she never thought she would find, the one that takes up all the space in her head, and her heart. She sees him in her thoughts, but yet she still looks for him. And when she finds him, her lips move, her teeth show, her face turns red, and her hands get sweaty. Her heart beats faster and faster and all her words slide together. Something about him mixes her emotions and her thoughts. She sees him, but will continue looking until he sees her again.
They are friends, just friends, but she will take what she can get because she would rather have him in her life as a friend than not at all. She controls her feelings when she converses with him, and holds back the erg to tell him everything. Everything she feels, and what she thinks, the way he makes her feel; it’s all held back, with the thought of losing him forever and knowing she wouldn’t want that. He lingers, every second of everyday, in her mind. She waits for the day he will change his mind and want to be hers again. Every day of her busy life, she finds time to stop and write, to jot down her thoughts of the day; all consisting of him. Her jealousy peeps through the happiest of days and can completely change her mood, and her thoughts are scattered day in and day out because he smiled at her in the hall.
When she thinks of him, she starts to smile and can’t exactly stop. She thinks about what they used to be, and how much fun they used to have. She misses walking home form school with him, and holding his hand. She misses seeing his smile and the warmth of his hugs. She remembers the first time he kissed her; she still gets butterflies when the thought comes to mind. The way he used to hold her in his arms, and sway her back and forth, or the way she felt so close to him and just the way he made her feel. Her heart still smiles when she sees him, and beats faster the closer they get. She still likes him now, even more than when they first met. She knows that he doesn’t feel the same way, but it doesn’t really make a difference. She just can’t get him out of her head. He is the reason for her smile and she doesn’t want it to stop. It’s the thought of him, that’s got her where she is. But no matter how happy he may make her, she is still the girl that sits in the corner with her arms across her chest, and her head towards the ground. Her eyes still filled with tears and her head with his name.